Thursday, December 07, 2006

My KrisserBugs

This is my little sister Kristie. I don't know when we started calling her KrisserBugs, but we do. I remember her being cranky sometimes when we were little and then we would call her Miss Priss. This picture to the left is one of my all time favs of us! My mom took Kris to get a perm like her own. You know how moms in the 80's had short curly hair on top of their head? (sorry if some of you still do) Well so did my little sister.

She is 2 1/2 years younger than me so it was my job to teach her everything I knew and play tricks on her. Some good things I taught her were how to jump off the roof onto the trampoline, or how to cover your belly in tooth paste before bed to make your skin nice, or where mom kept her trashy romance novels (another thing my mom was into in the 80's, but then gave them up once she discovered we had discovered them). We would build forts in the backyard, play pretend, make up stories and songs and dances, play Barbies, play school, anything, all the time. We pretended our entire childhood away.

We made up the stupidest obstacle course around the kitchen and family room where we would take turns jumping on each other's back and the person carrying would have to run through a maze turning so that the person on your back would hit their butt into various designated objects and then land on the couch smashing the person on your back and then hurry and switch places. We would time ourselves to try to see how many times we could get through it in a minute.

I use to be the biggest biggest liar. I would pretend to call aliens on the phone and ask them questions that she was curious about and then tell her my made up answers as if the aliens had said so. One time I had to call aliens to prove a lie I had told her about my mom farting so loud that it made her go half way through the roof of our house, legs dangling from the ceiling. They confirmed they had heard it all the way in space and that proved that. (I would also call Santa Claus in the North Pole often to show her I was on his good side, and one of his helpers to keep Kris doing things that I wanted her to. -I know, mean.)

My biggest set of lies surrounded my abilities to perform magic. My first magical power that I made up was that I could stand the hottest hot and the coldest cold. (Don't ask me why I wanted this power) I would have to prove it to her when we'd take our baths together. Krisser would test this out by making me sit under the faucet in the tub and turn the water on the hottest it could be for several minutes. I remember stubbornly sitting under that terrible hot water watching my skin turn bright red, but still smiling at her pretending I couldn't feel it. Then she'd turn it so cold and I would have to do the same.

Another magic power I had was that I could be turned into anything she wanted by using a magic wand (a sparkly baton of course). She would cast the spell and say what she wanted me to be and then I would have to act like that thing until she took the spell off me again. Some of her favorites were turning me into a pig, cat, horse, and house. I would get on all fours and arch my back to be a house and she would just sit under there for who knows how long while I pretended I didn't feel a thing because of course I was just a house. BUT her very most favorite thing was to turn me into Barbie. I would have to talk and act like Barbie. She picked this one ALL THE TIME! I was always making up stories about Skipper and Ken and talking about shopping.

One of our rules about these magic tricks was that she could never tell anyone else. Well one day I found out she had told her stinkin' little neighborhood friends. She was outside trying to convince them that I could turn into Barbie while I was clueless sitting inside watching Gummy Bears on the tv. When she called me out and I realized what she was about to do it was too late. She turned me into Barbie in front of 3 of her little 4-year old friends! I had to pretend to be Barbie and play with them for HOURS! I was so ticked but of course I couldn't show it because then I wouldn't really be Barbie. Afterwards the magic sparly baton dissapeared out of the blue and a new, revengeful development to my magical powers took place. (now this is a little dark, but I was kind of a weird kid) I had a "man in my back". I know- I told you I was weird. Anyway, this man in my back was not a nice guy. Sometimes when he was annoyed with Kristie for doing something that I didn't like he would hit her. Of course I was the one hitting her, but I told her it was the man in my back and that she couldn't tell on me or else he would get even more mad and she didn't want that. Oh, poor Kristie. She was terrified at night with me sleeping in the same room. For a few weeks I got away with so much stuff until she burst out in fear and told my mom about a man in her sister's back who was scary and hitting her. I remember sitting on my bed thinking, "Oh crap!" as my mom turned around and looked at me with confusion, and I was pretty sure a deadly look in her eye. Poor, poor, little Kristie. So why am I laughing now as I write this. Man alive, I wasn't a nice sister sometimes...

...but sometimes I was, like when we got older and my friends and I started getting into "hanging out at the mall" and meeting boys (oh brother!) and they didn't want her tagging along because she was younger. I told them that if she couldn't go then I wasn't going to go. Kris was my best friend. We could be as dorky as we wanted to around each other and it was safe. We spent hours making up dances and preforming them for our family or the neighborhood. (In college she came to visit me and we made up a dance to a Madonna song for old times sakes. It was grand for those blessed enough to have seen it then I'm sure.) I remember being in middle school and making up our own newspaper for our household. We made mail box slots by everyone's bedroom door and created entire newspapers including the funnies and delivered them. I would have been so embarrassed if my friends knew I did that when I was that age, but our secret was safe with each other.

I missed that little booger so much when I went away to college that when I would come back I would let her catch up and read my journal of everything going on in my life. She came and visited me one time at BYU Idaho (Ricks then) for my birthday. My roommates and I had been selected to open for a "Guitars Unplugged" night and I called Kris out of the audience to come on stage and sing with us in front of a couple thousand people. (She knew the song because I was always playing it on the guitar). I was so excited for her to go college the next year and she went to the same one I did. She also learned to play the guitar and played that same song with her roommates for a "Guitars Unplugged" night while she was there. (of course she put a Kristie ska twist to it).

She is married and has two kids, just like me. Although she lives a few states away we talk practically everyday on the phone for at least minute or two about all the crazy projects we are involved in and trying to decide who's dumber for trying to fit what into their busy life. I feel like now instead of being the older sister that she can look up to and do things like, I try to be like her. I love my KrisserBugs and I wouldn't be who I am without her. I'm so happy with how my girls play together all the time and hearing the funny things they say to each other and what they make up. Makenzie makes up explanations to things for Kendyl and it cracks me up and reminds me of my sister and me. I am so happy that they can be buddies their whole lives too.

I love this picture of us on Krisser's wedding day. I just jumped right up there on her back like we were just about to go through our silly obstacle course. Guess we are.... trying to be grown-ups :) - I know, you're gagging- cheesy! Oh who cares, MmmwwWHHAaaa!


Fred said...
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Seth Hippen said...

Finally, the world will know that I'm married to a wacky lady. I'm glad the man in your back moved away, although he sounds delightful. You got what was coming to you with the hotest hot and coldest cold, though I must say that pretending to be Barbie sounds pretty torturous too. Hey, maybe we could... nevermind. You and KrisserBugs are good sisters. I'm glad you have each other.

krisser said...

Oh Flem- I totally forgot about so many of these things- or maybe I'm scarred for life and have just tried to forget :) The obstacle course- Hahahahaha! I think I still have nightmares about that man! You forgot to mention running in bare feet in our preplanned course to the tree and back during the first snow of the year. And also jumping on the tramp in snow with plastic bags rubber-banded around our ankles- that's some slippery fun! I love ya Flemmer!